


Forever Boy

by wasatch_97



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Backstory, Depression, Han Jisung | Han is a Sweetheart, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, M/M, Past Abuse, Rings, i wrote this at three in the morning so i'm sure there are grammatical errors, minsung - Freeform, they're basically just super soft bois, this sounds way worse than it is, this story is cute I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22421062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasatch_97/pseuds/wasatch_97
Summary: Minho shrugs, glancing towards his laptop and spread of books. “I can’t sleep. God, I’m so tired but I can’t stop thinking.”Jisung hums, padding across the floor and sliding into the seat next to Minho. “Tell me?”Minho reaches out to brush away the stray strands of hair that had fallen in front of Jisung’s eyes and then pushes Jisung’s glasses up so they aren’t slipping down his nose. “School. Work. My family. How much I want to kill Changbin when I spend the night at my dorm and he thinks it’s fun to wake me up when I’m actually managing to sleep and talk smack about his professors. You.”“I’ll help you kill Changbin-hyung,” Jisung smiles, grabbing Minho’s hand before he pulls it away. His skin is warm against Minho’s, the chilly air in the living room having decreased his temperature. “He never showed up the other day to record the guide for my semester project. That gives us two very valid reasons for committing first degree murder.”
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 14
Kudos: 219





	Forever Boy

Three in the morning finds Minho bent over his laptop at his boyfriend’s dining room table, eyes growing watery as he wishes he could pass out, _something_ , so that he wouldn’t have to be awake for a moment longer. 

Insomnia sucks, he’s always told the people who have asked, but in reality it’s much much worse. Most of the time he wants to forcefully knock himself out just to get any form of relief. Currently, tears are building in his eyes before he can stop them, frustrating him further. He wants so desperately to be able to lie down next to his boyfriend, hold him tight, and fall asleep. In the morning he wants to wake up next to said boyfriend and cuddle him until they have to leave for classes. But his brain says no. 

“Min? Are you okay?” 

Minho rubs away the signs of his breakdown, meeting Jisung’s wide eyes. “Fuck, did I wake you?” 

Jisung shakes his head, tugging at the red flannel that’s slipping off his shoulders. “No. I woke up and you weren’t there, I got spooked, I guess.” He looks down, hiding his face. 

Minho lets out a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry, I know you hate waking up alone.” 

Jisung shrugs, running a hand through his hair. “It’s - it isn’t a big deal. But are you okay?” 

Minho shrugs, glancing towards his laptop and spread of books. “I can’t sleep. God, I’m so tired but I can’t stop thinking.” 

Jisung hums, padding across the floor and sliding into the seat next to Minho. “Tell me?” 

Minho reaches out to brush away the stray strands of hair that had fallen in front of Jisung’s eyes and then pushes Jisung’s glasses up so they aren’t slipping down his nose. “School. Work. My family. How much I want to kill Changbin when I spend the night at my dorm and he thinks it’s fun to wake me up when I’m actually managing to sleep and talk smack about his professors. You.” 

“I’ll help you kill Changbin-hyung,” Jisung smiles, grabbing Minho’s hand before he pulls it away. His skin is warm against Minho’s, the chilly air in the living room having decreased his temperature. “He never showed up the other day to record the guide for my semester project. That gives us two very valid reasons for committing first degree murder.” Minho snorts, rubbing his thumb against the back of Jisung’s hand. “And what had you thinking about me?” 

Minho rolls his eyes, “You’re literally the biggest part of my life, Sung,” for emphasis he spins the ring on Jisung’s fourth finger, “I’m always thinking about you.” 

Jisung laughs softly, “Fair.” 

Minho takes a breath, letting himself have a moment to look at the boy in front of him. It amazes Minho how he ever was able to capture Jisung’s attention, let alone have the boy fall as deeply in love with Minho as he has for him. They had met early on in Jisung’s freshman year, Minho’s junior, in the library. Cliche enough, after Minho had bumped into Jisung who was staggering under the weight of several textbooks in his arms, they had gotten around to talking and learned they had a lot in common. Minho was stupidly smitten from the get-go and his friends knew it was serious when for once he wasn’t oblivious to his feelings. 

Jisung was the one to propose the idea of dating, and when Minho eagerly agreed he had dragged Minho to the local aquarium and rambled on and on about sea life, exposing a random passion that Minho found adorable. As they got closer their friend groups integrated and all of them clicked. Jisung was particularly fond of Minho’s childhood friend Chan and Changbin, his roommate, who were also music production majors. Minho might have felt left out, maybe even jealous, but he got to know Hyunjin and Felix, two dance majors like him. While Chan, Changbin, and Jisung wrote songs together, Minho, Felix, and Hyunjin choreographed pieces to perform as a trio. Seungmin and Jeongin, vocal majors, were ever present as well, and Woojin, a senior like Chan, would occasionally stop by to chill with the group. A few weeks with Jisung turned into a few months, and by the time spring rolled around Minho had opened up to Jisung about his depression and insomnia while Jisung had begun sharing bits about his abusive childhood. 

Minho remembers the first time Jisung had mentioned anything. He had picked up on some tells that worried him, like how Jisung would flinch if there was a loud noise or if someone came up behind him without announcing in some way that they were there. One time Minho had seen him nearly deck Hyunjin when the boy had tapped Jisung on the shoulder, making the mistake of standing out of his line of sight. Jisung had apologized until his voice was gone, Hyunjin waving it off and hugging him, but all the other boys who had been in the room at the time had exchanged glances of worry. The next day Jisung had sat Minho down and told him that he hadn’t had a good and healthy childhood. He had been hurt, emotionally and physically. That’s all he told Minho that day, fear of rejection and fear of his past rendering him unable to do anything besides crawl into Minho’s embrace and let the older boy kiss his head and whisper praises. 

The first time Jisung had let Minho see his hips and thighs had been several months into their relationship. His eyes had been so filled with fear as his mind had mulled over the possibility of Minho leaving as the older trailed his fingers over the layered scars marring his skin, but Minho had replied by taking Jisung’s hands and letting him feel the faint ridges of the thin scars on his upper arms. Jisung had cried and Minho did too, the pair taking turns kissing every mark on the other’s skin before falling asleep in a tangle of blankets on Jisung’s bed, holding onto each other so tightly there was no chance that they could be pried apart. 

There was a shift in their relationship after that night. Jisung’s clingy nature started to show more, and he talked through it with Minho, telling him that he hadn’t had anything reliable in his life before, and deep inside of him he was scared to let go, to be tossed into darkness again. He said he hated that he was so needy but Minho was quick to assure him that there was nothing wrong with wanting to be wanted and that he wouldn’t let Jisung go. 

Minho had had his first serious breakdown since they had been together one night in early March. He had gotten out of his last class and everything just hit him and was way too much - the stress of his job, his classes, his lack of sleep. He let himself slip, reminding himself of his less than mediocre worth, his lack of drive to do anything important. He ended up walking and walking, trying to get as far away from the university and from his commitments as he could. 

The following morning he called Chan from a diner’s telephone in the next town over. Chan had given him a hug when he pulled up in his beat up station wagon, letting Minho drift in and out of sleep the whole way back. He had pulled up to Jisung and Felix’s dorm, unsurprisingly, and told Minho that he had worried several people half to death, specifically one boy who hadn’t ever experienced Minho going through a rough patch. Minho had felt so much guilt coarse through him as he climbed the stairs to the second floor, and even more when a red-eyed Jisung wrapped up in one of Minho’s hoodies answered the door. To his surprise, the only question Jisung asked was if he was okay while hugging Minho like his life depended on it, followed by a searing kiss. After that night Minho started to text Jisung, usually just a couple of words whenever he felt self-loathing and worthlessness, and Jisung would find him, whether it be in the back of a quiet bookstore or on the side of the road. He always had some sort of drink with him to give Minho, rotating through coffees and teas, sometimes hot chocolate. Jisung accepted Minho, even his ugly bits, and Minho learned that it was okay to want Jisung to love him, that he did deserve this happiness, he did deserve the boy who shone like a ray of sunlight and was far too good for this world. 

The first time in his life that Minho had willingly wanted to hurt another person had passed about a month after the night that he went temporarily missing. Jisung had gone up to visit his parents for the weekend and Minho had resigned himself to two days of homework and extra hours teaching little kids at the dance studio, a job he had picked up at the start of his junior year. Around two in the morning on Sunday his phone rang, Hyunjin’s contact popping up. When he answered Minho knew something was wrong. 

He had somehow managed to get into the dorm building and had run up to Felix and Jisung’s room, heart beating frantically in his chest. Hyunjin had opened the door, a grim look on his face, letting Minho into the room. Felix was cuddling Jisung, scooting away when Minho sat on the edge of the bed. When Jisung looked up at him Minho’s blood froze - the right side of the boy’s face was green and purple, bruises booming along his jaw and cheek. There were more on his stomach, each mark making Minho want to throw up. He hadn’t slept a wink that night as he held Jisung, swearing that he would never let his boy go back to that house. A dark part of Minho wanted to make Jisung’s parents pay for every bruise, for every tear Jisung had shed. He wanted it badly. But Jisung wiped those thoughts away when he stirred awake, pressing his lips to Minho’s cheek and with a shaky voice making him swear to never raise a hand against another being, not while he wanted to be a part of Jisung’s life. Minho had immediately made that promise and kept it. 

As they spent more and more time together Jisung got used to sleeping with Minho’s phone turned on, the brightness all the way down. Minho found it easier to sleep when he was able to match his breathing to Jisung’s, but a lot of the time there wasn’t a way out of the long nights. Jisung felt bad that he had to sit there alone while he slept but Minho promised it was okay and that it was important that Jisung got his rest. The nights they spent together were little disjointed but it worked for them. 

Jisung had spent most of the summer before their sophomore and senior year with Minho visiting his parents who instantly fell in love with him. Jisung had smiled so brightly through that trip, finally having a family, as the Lees had made him promise to come home with Minho for all the major holidays. When the couple went back to the campus for the remaining weeks of break, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin, and Hyunjin decided to all chip in to rent an apartment together. This meant that Minho more often than not stayed over in Jisung’s tiny bedroom, the couple practically inseparable at that point. 

“Are you still thinking about me?” 

Minho snaps out of his thoughts, rolling his eyes at Jisung’s smirk. “Sungie baby, you know me too well.” 

Jisung giggles, leaning up to press his lips to Minho’s. “C’mon, wanna watch Netflix? My back’s hurting from sitting in these god-awful chairs.” 

“It’s your fault for letting Felix and Hyunjin choose the furniture,” Minho teases, grabbing his phone and shutting his laptop as Jisung pulls him up, leading him into his bedroom. 

“You look cute,” Minho says when the door clicks shut behind them and Jisung is standing in the middle of the room, moonlight from the window making his blond hair shine. 

Jisung tugs at the flannel that’s not covering his shoulders anymore, the shirt underneath, one Minho recognized as his own, nearly covering the hem of his shorts. “Thanks, Min.” 

Minho smiles, darting forward to grab Jisung’s waist, making him squeal, and bending to kiss him breathless. 

Minho told Jisung he loved him for the first time around the new year, just a few months after they became a couple. They had gone out ice skating as a big group and had had a blast, all of them ending up at a diner eating cheap hamburgers later that afternoon. Minho had stolen Jisung away after that, the pair walking through the quiet streets, snow crunching under their boots, gloved hands interlocked and swinging between them. The confession hadn’t been particularly extravagant - Jisung had been humming the tune of a song he was writing, letting go of Minho’s hand to skip ahead and jump into a few inches of untouched powder. He turned back to look at Minho, eyes bright and smile large and Minho realized just how much he wanted to have a forever with this boy. Minho had just said it, “I love you,” and Jisung’s eyes had gone wide before he said the words back, hurrying back to Minho and burying himself deep in his arms. 

“Are you sure you want to watch Netflix?” Jisung pants, hands tangled in Minho’s hair and cheeks flushed pink. 

Minho kisses him again, just a gentle press of lips. “As much as I would love to have sex at three in the morning Seungmin’s home tonight and he has already emailed us an ‘official complaint and warning’ when we disregarded his presence last week.” 

“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” Jisung moans, bursting into a fit of giggles when Minho tickles his sides. 

Though some physical movements can send Jisung into a panic, bringing back flashbacks of being thrown into a wall by his father, Minho knows that his small boyfriend loves being picked up and held carefully so he’s met with soft laughter and smiles when he scoops Jisung up, spinning them around a few times before depositing Jisung into the pile of blankets atop his bed. Jisung scoots over and pats the spot next to him, curling up to Minho when he slides onto the mattress. Minho kisses the crown of his head, taking Jisung’s laptop from its case on the bedside table and turning it on, loading up Netflix. They decide on some random anime they won’t remember anything about in the morning, and throughout the first episode Minho distracts Jisung with kisses, Jisung eagerly reciprocating. 

“Are you tired?” Jisung asks a few minutes into the second episode, voice soft with fatigue, his legs tangled with Minho’s and head resting under the older boy’s chin. Minho has one hand dipping under Jisung’s shirt to trace patterns on his back and the other is fidgeting around with Jisung’s ring. 

“No,” Minho replies, “but you are. You need to sleep, baby.” 

Jisung pouts but nods, letting Minho close the laptop and put it away. Minho steals Jisung’s glasses and puts them on the bedside table, cuddling Jisung to his chest. “I’m gonna marry you someday,” he says, kissing the back of Jisung’s left hand. 

Jisung smiles sleepily, lips brushing against Minho’s neck. “Yeah.” 

Minho gave Jisung the ring about a year after they first started dating. It had been a quiet day, a Saturday where they had holed up together in Minho and Changbin’s room to binge movies, sharing snacks between them. Minho had taken Jisung outside on a walk later that evening to take a break from the indoors and they had meandered over to Jisung’s favorite park, the one with a gazebo where they had spent several afternoons on picnic dates. Minho had said something along the lines of “I love you, you’re the only person who really understands all of me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll let me.” Jisung had nodded, grinning, and then Minho showed Jisung the matching silver rings, worth every cent of several months of saved paychecks, leaving boy wide-eyed and breathless. They were meant to be promise rings but none of their friends believed it, not when Jisung’s had a cluster of diamonds and inside both of the bands, engraved in the silver, were lyrics that Jisung had written for one of his project songs freshman year. _I see myself in you_. 

“I love you,” Jisung says, snuggling close, voice tinged with sleep. “Love you, hyungie.” 

Minho smiles, “I love you too.” 

It’s no secret between their friends and Minho’s family how serious he and Jisung are. Even if they still won’t admit that the rings are engagement rings, there’s no doubt that they will have a future together after uni. 

“Sleep, Sungie, I'll be here when you wake up.” 

Jisung hums softly, eyes closed, small fists curled in Minho’s hoodie. “G’night.” 

Minho’s smile is ridiculously fond. “Goodnight, love.” 

Minho doesn’t fall asleep that night, or the next, but it’s all okay when Jisung, soft with sleep, gives him giggly smiles and gentle kisses, a thanks for not leaving him. Minho hugs him back, showing his own gratitude at not being all alone in the dark all night. 

(Minho had proposed with the ring but their friends and family don't need to know that, not when Jisung and Minho are perfectly content to call each other boyfriends until they graduate, mainly to spare Minho’s parents from any coronaries brought on by shock.)


End file.
